Recently I saw an online discussion on the subject "You know you're a mother when..."

There were some good answers.

I was afraid to share one of mine - "You know you're a mother when you find yourself singing ditties you composed about bodily functions." That might just be me.

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Another thought on being a mother: people stereotype mothers as using annoying baby talk. Which is sometimes true. But when you're really in trouble is when you're so desperate that you find yourself trying to use grown-up talk with a baby.

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Another case of that:

[The scene: Dani has somehow obtained a pair of scissors. Naturally, she is trying to cut up everything, and most immediately, the tablecloth.]

Me: D, stop that right now! You know you're only allowed to cut paper!
D: *Ignores*
Me: D, I said STOP THAT, RIGHT NOW!
D: But I'm a LION!!
Me: *becomes desperate enough to make the universally stupid decision to try to use logic with a toddler*
        Lions don't use scissors. Lions don't even have opposable thumbs!
D: OK I'm not a lion.
D: I'm a frog.

[the good news - D gets so distracted by jumping that I am able to snatch the scissors back with relative ease]

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And one last story before I go back to staring at the screen and pretending I'm studying:

[the scene: children are watching Dora]

Dora: We had a lot of adventures today! What part was your favorite?
Child: I like that I'm tired.
Dora: ... I liked that part, too.
Child: Dora's happy that I'm tired?


(editing this post to add a brief thank you to those of you who tipped me off that my email was hacked. I think I fixed it.)