A conversation with the kids on the way home:
A: Daddy, do you give permission for me to be a teacher when I grow up?
Viggy: Whether I like it or not, honey, when you'll be a grown up you won't need my permission. You can do any job you want.
(Adi and Viggy walk forward. N thinks over their exchange for a minute and reaches the logical conclusion)
N: Mommy, when Adi grows up are you and Daddy going to die?
Me: No, baby, hopefully we'll live a long time! Look, I'm grown up, and my Mommy is still alive, right? And Daddy's parents are still alive. Hopefully we'll be alive even when your kids are grown up.
D: But your Daddy isn't still alive.
Me: Right. But he didn't die because I grew up. I was already grown up when he died.
D: Mommy, when are you going to get a new daddy?
Me: I'm not ever going to get another daddy.
D: *is on verge of tears*
N: Why can't you get a new daddy?
Me: Because it doesn't work that way, honey. Once you're grown up you can't get a new daddy, because your daddy is the one who is with you when you're a kid.
N: But have you asked anyone?
Me: Have I asked anyone to be my new daddy?
N: *nods* Like... maybe Daddy could be your daddy! Or Uncle T, or Zeidy! [note: Zeidy is my father-in-law]
Me: ........
Me: [does not want to get into the many reasons it would be extremely disturbing for Viggy and I to share a father, for Viggy's 27-year-old brother to be my father, or for Viggy himself to be my father]
Me: *is saved* Oh look, we're home! Time to go brush teeth!
A: Daddy, do you give permission for me to be a teacher when I grow up?
Viggy: Whether I like it or not, honey, when you'll be a grown up you won't need my permission. You can do any job you want.
(Adi and Viggy walk forward. N thinks over their exchange for a minute and reaches the logical conclusion)
N: Mommy, when Adi grows up are you and Daddy going to die?
Me: No, baby, hopefully we'll live a long time! Look, I'm grown up, and my Mommy is still alive, right? And Daddy's parents are still alive. Hopefully we'll be alive even when your kids are grown up.
D: But your Daddy isn't still alive.
Me: Right. But he didn't die because I grew up. I was already grown up when he died.
D: Mommy, when are you going to get a new daddy?
Me: I'm not ever going to get another daddy.
D: *is on verge of tears*
N: Why can't you get a new daddy?
Me: Because it doesn't work that way, honey. Once you're grown up you can't get a new daddy, because your daddy is the one who is with you when you're a kid.
N: But have you asked anyone?
Me: Have I asked anyone to be my new daddy?
N: *nods* Like... maybe Daddy could be your daddy! Or Uncle T, or Zeidy! [note: Zeidy is my father-in-law]
Me: ........
Me: [does not want to get into the many reasons it would be extremely disturbing for Viggy and I to share a father, for Viggy's 27-year-old brother to be my father, or for Viggy himself to be my father]
Me: *is saved* Oh look, we're home! Time to go brush teeth!
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