This post will be a tribute to Snan.
Let me explain about Snan: Snan is my twin sister. Unusually for twins, we were born three and a half years apart. I was born first, not that it helped me any.
Of the two of us, I am the athletic twin. However, due to my great humility, and my desire to see my sister enjoy her accomplishments without them being overshadowed by my own, I've been hiding that fact very very (very) well for the past 24 years or so.
A few months ago when Snan came to grace us with her glittering, other-worldly presence, it was noticed that I had perhaps gone too far in hiding my true, athletically gifted nature. I was - how to put it - approaching the rounder end of the human-body spectrum.
In stepped Snan, with her failproof weight-loss plan. That, and her disturbing enthusiasm for dragging me on long walks up tall hills.
Seven months later, I am pleased to announce that I have reached my weight-loss goal, which was more or less "be that size I was before so that I won't need to buy too many new clothes." So the time has come to thank Snan. And since I've been investing all my money in "quick turn on the air conditioning before we all melt" lately, I've decided to express my gratitude in blog form. Specifically, with a feature called "Snan and Alirsnan," in which I will explain the subtle differences in our approach to life.
SNAN and ALIRSNAN: the Health Edition
SNAN knows it's important to stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water.
ALIRSNAN considers water to be basically a less evolved version of coffee.
SNAN frequently exercises using her erg machine.
ALIRSNAN uses her elliptical machine, just not always for its intended purpose.
SNAN stretches after every workout to keep her limbs healthy and limber.
ALIRSNAN figures that if she just waits a few minutes, somebody will stretch her limbs for her.
SNAN makes sure to get plenty of sleep. No amount of exercise and healthy eating will keep a body healthy without it!
ALIRSNAN is asleep on the inside, does that count?
SNAN believes in "a sound mind in a healthy body."
ALIRSNAN thinks that sound minds are way overrated.
Let me explain about Snan: Snan is my twin sister. Unusually for twins, we were born three and a half years apart. I was born first, not that it helped me any.
Of the two of us, I am the athletic twin. However, due to my great humility, and my desire to see my sister enjoy her accomplishments without them being overshadowed by my own, I've been hiding that fact very very (very) well for the past 24 years or so.
A few months ago when Snan came to grace us with her glittering, other-worldly presence, it was noticed that I had perhaps gone too far in hiding my true, athletically gifted nature. I was - how to put it - approaching the rounder end of the human-body spectrum.
In stepped Snan, with her failproof weight-loss plan. That, and her disturbing enthusiasm for dragging me on long walks up tall hills.
Seven months later, I am pleased to announce that I have reached my weight-loss goal, which was more or less "be that size I was before so that I won't need to buy too many new clothes." So the time has come to thank Snan. And since I've been investing all my money in "quick turn on the air conditioning before we all melt" lately, I've decided to express my gratitude in blog form. Specifically, with a feature called "Snan and Alirsnan," in which I will explain the subtle differences in our approach to life.
SNAN and ALIRSNAN: the Health Edition
ALIRSNAN considers water to be basically a less evolved version of coffee.
SNAN frequently exercises using her erg machine.
SNAN stretches after every workout to keep her limbs healthy and limber.
ALIRSNAN figures that if she just waits a few minutes, somebody will stretch her limbs for her.
SNAN makes sure to get plenty of sleep. No amount of exercise and healthy eating will keep a body healthy without it!
ALIRSNAN is asleep on the inside, does that count?
SNAN believes in "a sound mind in a healthy body."
ALIRSNAN thinks that sound minds are way overrated.
By the way, in my non-professional statistical survey that I have conducted over the past 57 years, in MOST (I didn't say ALL) cases, the second-born child, if of the same sex as the first-born, WILL BE MORE ATHLETIC OR STRONGER than said first-born. As in YOUR case, as in the case of your husband, and of your father-in-law! And I'll bet you can think of other examples. Yes, like every rule, there are exceptions - BUT WHAT IS THE RULE?
ReplyDeletelol sisterly love... but what would i know about that......?
ReplyDeleteTo AuntSho, I had nothing to do with that!
DeleteWell, actually I had EVERYTHING to do with that!
But facts, notwithstanding...
CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE A BOOK LIKE THIS?!?!?
ReplyDelete