Book Reviews

Yet again, it's a particularly busy and stressful time of year. And yet again, I've somehow found time to read enough books to write more book reviews. Funny how that happens.

(the stress, for the record, has almost nothing to do with Passover, the upcoming holiday which I've been preparing for only in the vaguest possible sense of the word)

The Night Watch (Fantasy)

The first in a series by Sergei Lukyanenko. Not to be confused with the Night Watch of Song of Ice and Fire (/Game of Thrones) fame.

I picked this book up because I'm running out of fantasy books in English at the local library, and it was there. Fortunately, it was good enough that I'll probably read the sequels, thus further delaying the day on which I'll have to either start reading in a new language, start reading books written for grown-ups, or start paying for books (all terrible options).

The front cover proudly announces that, according to the Daily Telegraph, this is "JK Rowling, Russian style." I couldn't help drawing the parallels.

Rowling's hero:

11-year-old Harry learns that he has magical powers, and is whisked off to an enchanted castle to learn and explore his new world.

Lukyanenko's hero:

30-year-old Anton learns that he has magical powers, and decides to continue working as a computer programmer.

Harry: Lives in a world where the noble and courageous good wizards must face off against a powerful evil wizard and his minions.

Anton: Lives in a world where the Light wizards, who are good... OK, sort of good... in a "responsible for most major genocides" kind of way... face off against the Dark wizards, who are bad... sort of bad... it's all kind of complicated, really.

Harry: Isn't unusually skilled, but manages to beat more experienced foes due to a combination of determination, grit, pluck, courage, moxie, dumb luck, and what-the-hell-JK-Rowling-are-you-serious.

Anton: If he wins at anything, it's probably a trap.

Harry: For fun, likes to partake of whimsical foods like Every Flavour Beans and Butterbeer and to play the magical game of Quidditch. 

Anton: Does not have fun. When not being attacked by Dark Wizards or jerked around by his boss, likes to drink cheap Russian vodka and contemplate the fact that there is no real good in the universe.

***

It's pretty funny to think of Anton as Russia's version of Harry Potter, but I have a feeling the book was meant for a slightly older audience. 

Although... when I first made the comparison, I thought, "Who would give The Night Watch to their 12-year-old to read? All that drinking and sex. Harry Potter is way more wholesome." But after a while, I started thinking, "Who would give Harry Potter to their 12-year-old to read? All that moral simplicity. The Night Watch is way closer to educational."

Oh, and one last parallel (*spoilers*):

Harry: Love interest Ginny gets involved with other guys as part of a convoluted plan to get his attention.

Anton: Love interest Sveta gets involved with other guys as part of a convoluted plan to get his attention.

Some things are apparently universal.

My rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars.

One Beautiful Baby (Educational)

The basic plot - take one sweet smile... three big bananas... seven silly sounds... what do you get? One beautiful baby!

Actually, scratch "basic," that's the whole thing.

This book has numbers, in an apparent attempt to appeal to parents' constant gnawing fear that their toddlers are somehow already behind in school. Unfortunately, despite that one concession to math, the book's basic concept is completely mathematically and biologically flawed. 

My advice - if you don't want to tell your kids where babies come from, just don't tell them. Don't pretend that adding bananas, diapers, sticky fingers, and seven other simple ingredients (or maybe not so simple, since "ducks" is on the list) will create a new human being. It could cause way too much confusion down the line.

My rating: 1 out of 5 stars.

You Can Count! (Educational)

The basic idea - Barney has a surprise for his friends Baby Bop and BJ. But instead of just telling them what it is like a normal person, he has to wait until they've spent the entire book just wandering around. Oh, and there are also flaps with numbers underneath, and when you press the button with that number, Barney's voice will say the number and add some inane commentary ("Six! Oh boy, oh boy!").

The good: 

- It has Barney, bright colors, flaps to lift, and sounds. All the things small kids love, in one book.

- The set-up helps kids associate each quantity with both its written number and its sound.

The bad:

- It has Barney, bright colors, flaps to lift, and sounds. All the things that help turn what would normally be merely a monotonous pre-bedtime reading experience into what feels like a lifetime of torture, in one book.

- Someday your kids will leave this book on the floor somewhere, you'll be innocently making your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night or to the coffee machine in the morning, and suddenly you'll hear Barney's disembodied voice saying, "Eight! That's great!!" And you will know the meaning of terror.

My rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars.