More birthday fun

Today we celebrated baby S's birthday. The celebration was pretty simple.

First, she got to join her sisters in the bathtub at bathtime. No points for guessing that she pooped a minute after I put her in, but you do get points and bonus points if you guessed that when I pulled the plug to let the poopy water drain out, it started leaving the bathtub and coming back up through the drain in the bathroom floor. Fun times.

Then I cut her bangs. OK, that was more something I did for myself. And by "more" I mean "entirely," and by "I did" I mean "three of us did." S is very talented at squirming.

Then we had the real fun, which was eating special sweet bamba (bamba = peanut flavored cheetos) with chocolate filling. The celebration ended with me attempting to get crushed bamba out of S's ears. And then - bedtime. Not for me, of course - I had a bathroom floor to clean - but for the kids, which is almost as good.

Me, I couldn't help but remember where I was one year ago. Around this time Viggy was calling an ambulance, and two paramedics who showed up a couple minutes later were very disappointed to find such a non-laboring woman in labor. As I recall, one suggested that I could have walked to the hospital and still made it in time (debatable, as it turned out). 

They were probably annoyed that I was basically using them as a glorified cab service. I probably didn't make things any better by explaining that I would have taken a cab, but I couldn't afford to pay for a cab driver to reupholster his seats if I leaked on them.

Anyway. I got there in time, there was pain, I finally got drugs for once, S was born. 

People talk about childbirth being a miracle. I guess you could say that, although "miracle" tends to conjure to mind images with a lot less bodily fluids.

But why do so few people talk about the other miracles of parenting? Whatever the reason, in honor of S's birthday I'll share a few:

1. The postpartum weigh-in miracle.

This is when you first step on a scale after giving birth, and find that despite expelling a small human being and more gunk and fluids than anyone wants to think about from your body, you somehow weigh exactly what you did right before the baby was born. Miracle!

2. The newborn poop miracle.

This is when you feel wet and realize baby poop soaked through to your clothing, strip the baby of his or her soiled clothing, open the diaper and - it's completely clean! Miracle!

3. The where-is-it-going miracle.

This is when your baby eats, then eats, then eats more, until you realize they've consumed more food that they physically have room for within that tiny body of theirs - and none has come out the other end.

4. The where-is-it-coming-from miracle.

Like 3, but the opposite.

I'm sure there are more. Really, the fact that certain children are still alive and well despite their many shenanigans is a miracle as well. I've stopped kids from trying to play with knives, play with razors, play on windowsills, get into the medicine cabinet, and take a secret bath alone - and that's all just the past few weeks. Not all the same child, for the record.

We should all spread more miracle awareness here, make new parents more prepared. New parents: you should also be aware that miracles involving kids tend to be a lot messier than you might have imagined.