Sunday, April 5, 2015

All about S

Conversations with S. All real, all from the past two days:

(S and I stop at a friend's house)

Me: S, let's leave the stroller out here. We'll be back out in a minute.

S: OK. *glares at nearby snail* But that snail had better not take it.

***

(On the way home)

S: *rips handful of leaves off of random plant, offers them to me* Mommy, for you!!

Me: Thanks, sweetie, but it's not nice to rip the leaves off of plants. Plants need their leaves.

S: *thinks*

S: *picks up filthy bottle cap that has fallen from nearby overflowing dumpster, offers it to me* Mommy, for you!!

***

Me: S, do you want this with ketchup?

S: Without ketchup.

Me: OK.

S: Without ketchup!

Me: OK! No ketchup.

S: I said without ketchup!!!

Me: I didn't give you any ketchup!

Me: ... wait, when you say "without ketchup," do you mean "yes ketchup"?

S: Yes ketchup.

Me: *gives ketchup*

S: Bananas aren't allowed to have this.

S: *giggles to herself*

***

(We pass a random child walking with her father. Total strangers.)

S: Mommy, look! *turns to girl* You're a sweet potato chocolate banana!!

Me: S! That's not nice, you'll hurt her feelings.

S: But she is a banana chocolate.

(this was a bit of a tricky one, because "banana chocolate" is really not an insult. I went with telling her that we don't use words to hurt people's feelings. I was rewarded with a Look of Ultimate Betrayal, which is usually a good sign when it comes to discipline)

***

S: Mommy, can Moshe come to play? *pause* I won't hit him.

***

Reasons S has gone into full-on hysterical sobbing in the past week:

- because I handed her the gray spoon, not the blue spoon

- because daddy went to work. This has only happened nearly every day since S was born, so naturally, she hasn't quite had time to adjust yet.

- because she wanted to play with her friend Odeliyah (at night).

- because "I didn't want" (????)

note: list is not comprehensive

***

Things S is very good at:

- jumping like a frog

- running in circles

- greeting people she loves with complete, overwhelming enthusiasm

- being adorable

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