Consider Yourself Warned - P - Princesses

No potential future parent of girls (and some boys) is ever truly warned if they are not warned about Disney princesses. The ones of the big-eyed, tiny-waisted, fall-in-love-at-the-drop-of-a-hat variety.

"Oh but Ali" you may be thinking, "I don't need to know anything about Disney princesses. I agree, they're bad role models, so my daughters just won't watch Disney movies. They'll watch educational programming. And I'll give them American Girl dolls instead of Barbie."

Trust me. You need to know about Disney princesses. Because if you ever let your little girls out of the house, somehow they will spot one (or a Barbie. same difference really). And nine times out of ten, it will go like this:

And before you know it, you've been Disneyed.

I tried to avoid Disney. I hid Adi's first Barbie, and gave her Dora instead of Cinderella. But girls just have this weird, backward sense for these things. 

(On a similar note, the only jewelry I wear is my wedding band, and the last time I had a full face of makeup or painted nails was at my wedding. Adi saw one of her aunts for the first time in ages and her immediate response was, "Mommy, I want to have color on my nails too. And when can I pierce my ears?" They just know.)

After she realized that there were other dolls out there - dolls that she somehow innately knew to be more beautiful and thus better in every way than her normally-proportioned Dora doll - I still tried to keep things in check. I was not successful.

Suggesting anything but Mermaid Barbie once they were aware she existed was like trying to convince college students to celebrate Spring Break by chugging apple juice.

Just for the record, the unrealistic bodies isn't really what bothers me most, it's the stories themselves. As my husband can't help saying every time The Little Mermaid is playing, "What do you mean, you love him?? You just met him! For all you know he's a serial killer! What kind of a stupid... Man, if that were my kid... "

Anyway. By now you're convinced that Disney princesses will somehow become part of your child's life. So I should get to the part where I impart tried-and-true parenting tactics for dealing with it.

Unfortunately, I don't have any. I've basically given up.

But hey, at least now you're forewarned.