As you can see, we've moved forward by a whole letter. I hope you people are learning.
You probably think you know what I'm going to say about quiet. "Ali," you're thinking, "I've tried to speak to you during daylight hours at some point in the last few years. I know that as a parent, quiet is what you yearn for to the very depths of your soul. I know that quiet is what you must crave like a prisoner craves freedom, like an up-and-coming actress craves fame, like someone who's not starving but is still pretty hungry craves blueberry pie, like dogs crave the smell of other dogs' pee, like tapeworms crave the warm safety of a digestive tract."
You've been paying attention. Bonus points for that. But - not quite right.
No, what I need to tell you about quiet is something different. The thing is, while as a parent you will desire quiet with a fervor usually reserved for romantic pursuits (or for some of you, World of Warcraft), during waking hours, quiet is not your friend. Quiet means that your children have found a way to entertain themselves. And unless you forked out for a new toy within the past 60 minutes, that means they're doing something that you should probably stop.
So yes, you will dream of quiet. I often do.
But when it comes, you will know not peace, but fear.
At that point, you will go looking, and what you find may vary.
Best case scenario - your kids are doing something bizarre but ultimately harmless.
Second best - they're doing something destructive, but not dangerous.
Worse than that - dangerous, but not destructive.
And worst case, as you may have guessed, is Dangerous And Destructive.
Ahh, writing about all this brings back memories. Of course, my brain doesn't have to look too far back - just earlier today I failed to notice Dani going quiet, and two minutes later I found her covered in flour (half a bag of flour for two minutes of quiet isn't such a bad trade, come to think of it. But Dora videos are cheaper).
So that's our lesson for today. Quiet - the modern-day siren, luring you in with her sweet lack of screaming babies, and leaving disaster in her wake. Enjoy your disaster-free silence while you can.
So true.. So true...
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