Consider Yourself Warned - R - Random Crap

You probably realize that the more kids in your house, the more random crap you find everywhere. For example, we have far more puzzle pieces in the house than the sum of all the pieces of the various puzzles we actually own. I can only assume that the missing puzzle pieces (what missing pieces? when you have kids every puzzle has missing pieces. duh) have been sneaking off to have puzzle piece babies.

Complicating this is the fact that if you want to throw anything away, no matter how random or crappy, you have to wait until the kids aren't watching. Because if they see you throwing away one of the 1,500 art projects they created in the past week, or their "fairy wings" that are now just a bent wire with a single square inch of tattered cloth still hanging off of it, or their wad of My Little Pony hair (it's glittery. that makes it special), you'll be hit with the full-on, wide-eyed pouty-lip guilt treatment.

(Side note – there are two types of art projects. Those made at home, which are inevitably kept because it turns out they were drawn over my math notes and I can still sorta make out what’s underneath, and those made at daycare, which are always sticky. I don’t know why the daycare staff always use clay, stickers, and special never-dry paint in their projects; I’m guessing it’s because they hate us.)

At some point in your battle against the never-ending tide of random crap, the random crap will win. And here comes the part you didn't know (good thing I'm here to teach you) - that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Because while at first you're thinking "Note to self: as soon as they fall asleep, throw away that broken doll house and those stupid fairy wings already," eventually you realize, "Wait a minute. If I pretend I want to throw it away, the kids will decide we have to keep it and play with it for hours. Why was I going to spend money on a new one, again?"

It turns out that kids genuinely like their random crap. So while I still throw things out to prevent the girls' room from being flooded completely (for example, last week I went through several months' worth of old art projects to decide what to keep and what to get rid of - a process that Viggie thankfully did not point out he could have done in 1/50th the time by just throwing it all away), I now not only allow random crap, but actively seek it out.

Case in point: two weeks ago I got my groceries delivered, and the delivery man asked if we'd like to keep the styrofoam box the cold stuff came in. OF COURSE we want a random, crappy box! Here is some of the fun the kids have had with it since: 

Think about it. You must have heard parents joking about how when you buy kids an expensive new Playmobile toy or whatever, all they want to play with is the box. So skip the toy and just get them a box. They'll love it, and you can use the extra money for stuff that you'll need as a parent, like vodka.

Stay tuned for later this week, when I'll teach you about R - Remote Control Helicopters. Unless I get inspired to write about R - Refrigerators first.